Back & Forth

Last evening...

It's 10 pm. I'm finally out of the office, having spent 5 hours redoing a book review that somehow got deleted from the computer. It's pouring rain as I walk to the Queen Station so I open up a (half) broken umbrella to (half) shield me from the large chilly raindrops. I slide down the escalator to the platform and gravitate towards the convenience stand to purchase a beverage for the way home. The salesman hands me my drink of choice and as I take out my credit card "- Sorry ma'am. We do not accept credit cards". I thought I had my debit somewhere...I'm rummaging frantically through my bag as I hear the approaching subway and decide to drop the drink and leave. "I'll drink something at home!" I call out apologetically as I run to the cabin. Two stations later I notice my credit card is no longer in my wallet so I get off the subway and head back in the opposite direction, only to realize it's in my pocket. Head hung low, I make my way back and arrive at home, exhausted but happy to look forward to a whole new day.

short term happiness

Many do not believe in an 'unconscious', and I think of myself as one of them. Yet today I realized that my mind very frequently fetched towards objects that I otherwise pay no attention to and gave the 'unconscious mind' some thought. This last week is the culmination of two months of GRE-studying, grad school searching, attending lectures, and working. I'm writing the gre this Thursday, I have a book review due tomorrow, and I have two important tasks at work along with trying to find a position that extends past my contract end date of November 11th. Yet, mind has settled on a material good I neither need (that much) nor have ever really thought about before. I feel ashamed to even write it out, but I'll say it quick and move on and so it's a Macbook Air, and I do not understand why my mind keeps returning to it. Mostly, I justify to myself why I deserve to buy this...object..and why I need it so much, why it's a good investment, etc. It's a huge preoccupation when I should really be focusing on the important things. Why is the mind so uncontrollable at times and what are the reasons behind it? There are emotional links to topics like love, hatred, etc, yet the mind sometimes settles on plastic products that otherwise have no sufficient value.

the feeling of autumn

Today I was confronted with the Ontarian autumn, with it's abundance of rouge-toned leaves covering the ground and the bright sun paired with a sudden chill in the air. My family had an autumn day. Martin decorated the front yard with spiderwebs, pumpkins, and signs spelling *Danger* to celebrate Halloween. Leaves were raked and stuffed into pumpkin colored garbage bags (with very large foreheads I must add!). Stepping out into the yard and picking up a chosen set of particularly pretty multi-coloured maple leaves, I realized that fall is finally here.

10 minute goal

My goal is to write for 10 minutes here, no more, no less. I will not necessarily give an account of my day, nor give some in-depth reflection...I will write about whatever comes to mind.

Happy Thanksgiving

sitting in my garden, i noticed that the smell of turkey has overridden the familiar scent of flowers and nature in the neighbourhood.